Question #2

My girlfriend is like, soooooper into fisting. We just started dating and now she wants to try it with me. I've never done it, and it seems like I'd be punching her in the vajayjay. is it safe?

Well this is a sensitive subject because different people are into different things. Usually I like to fist girls but not in the vagina but in the face. Ya get the joke? I hit girls. But only if they ask me to in a moment of passion. Or if like they make my bagel wrong. C'mon, PUMPERNICKEL?! FUCK THAT! Everything bagel or no the fuck thank you.





But in all seriousness you should do whatever you feel comfortable with, even if that means fist pumping your whore of a girlfriend's extremely wide-set vagina. If you won't, her boyfriend will.

Question #1

I've been dating a girl for about nine months now, and she repeatedly tells me that my vagina is weird looking. After we had already been together for a while, she told me that her reaction upon seeing it for the first time was something along the lines of, "what the hell is THAT?!?". I definitely have what you could call a flower-type situation, though I don't believe for a second that I'm the only girl with this look. I've told my girl that everyone's built differently and she just needs to accept my anatomy, but she continues to suggest I get plastic surgery on it or pierce it since it's "so loud and out there". She insists she loves me and is just joking about it, but it still bugs me. Thoughts?

First of all...I don't want to have this conversation. Secondly, your girlfriend is not only a total bitch but kiiiiind of stupid. Like how can a vagina look "weird"? It's a vagina! VAGINAS LOOK WEIRD! One can't look weirder than another! "Hey baby you know that crevace between your thighs that gets wet for no reason, has the ability to birth children and also has piss, blood, and other fluids come out of it? Yo yours is lookin' kinda iffy."



OH WORD?! No. Go find a girl who will not question the miracle below your belly button and maybe just one who won't talk as much in general?